Advice
by akiqueen
Summary: Shonen ai. HarryDraco. Harry wants advice on being romantic. So who else could he ask but Remus Lupin? Harry's hopes at winning Ginny crumble as he realizes that Remus's advice wasn't about winning girls. On the contrary, it was about winning guys.


Advice

_**Credit to: potterfreak0515**_

Harry's heart was beating rapidly, and it wasn't because Ginny Weasley had excited him with her kiss. On the contrary; Harry was scared like hell by it. Why? Because he knew next to nothing on how to be romantic. But Remus would. He was sure to have lots of experience, especially since Tonks, someone who could have anyone, was after him. So, after contacting Remus, Harry set off to Number Twelve, Grimwauld Place for the Christmas holidays.

The two were sitting at the dining room table, when Remus asked, "So Harry, what brings you here? It must be something important; I can't see how anyone can tolerate this house."

"Well, I wanted to talk to you. About - well, about girls." Remus looked at Harry for a second, and took a deep breath.

"Well, Harry… Um, every month for a week, girls-" Remus began.

"No, I already know that," Harry cut in, "I want to know... You know; how to act towards hugs, kisses, etc." Remus sighed in relief; this was going to be easy- wait, this was about_ girls_. He didn't know _squat_ about girls! He had dated Sirius this entire time, so how was he supposed to-?

"Come on Remus, you've got to help me!" Harry exclaimed. Remus sighed. Sirius had asked him to help Harry in any way he could, and so he would. Remus straightened his back, looked Harry in his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Harry, you want _dating advice_, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," Harry replied. Remus let out his breath. Harry had just allowed a loophole; he was safe from any future wrath. Harry had agreed to be given dating advice. Remus never specified whether it would be advice about girls, though.

Harry thanked Remus, who smiled in return. After Harry had Flooed to Hogsmeade, Remus sat down and sighed. "Sirius, I did what you asked," Remus said to the wall, "And I'm afraid that Harry will take my advice wholeheartedly."

Harry stepped into the bathroom, ready to begin what Remus had told him to do.

"…_The first thing you should do is dress better, Harry. It'll give everyone something to dream about at night, believe me."_

Harry hadn't dressed at the house, because flooing would have dirtied his clothes. So the boy stepped into the Three Broomsticks's bathroom, and put on tight jeans and a dress shirt.

"_Make your hair as messy as possible. It makes it look as if you'd just been kissed."_

Harry had that naturally down, but still ruffled his hair anyway.

"_Put on a little makeup. Make your eyes stand out, Harry… _Girls_ really like it when boys are a little feminine."_

This seemed a little weird, but Harry didn't bother to ponder on it. He lined his eyes just as Remus had demonstrated, and decided that it was time to present the new him.

Harry strutted into the Great Hall. All eyes turned to look at him. He coolly walked to the Gryffindor table, sitting between Hermione and Ron, who gaped at him.

"H-harry, we totally respect your decision," Hermione blurted out after a minute passed, "Why didn't you tell us before? I'd understand that it would be kind of difficult, especially with Ron…"

"Hermione, what the hell are you talking about?" Harry asked, brushing the hair out of his eyes in a dramatic way which Remus instructed him to do once every eight hours.

"Is that glitter, Harry?" Ron asked with a moan, pointing at his eyes.

"Yes, you want to borrow some?" Harry asked innocently. Ron twitched and shook his head no.

"Harry!" Hermione scolded.

"What? Ron needs a girlfriend, and I don't see you asking him out," Harry pointed out. Hermione blushed bright red, but still glared angrily at him.

"You know what, Harry?!" Hermione said angrily, "I've had enough of your innocent act!" She slapped Harry across his face, which immediately brought everyone's attentions back to him.

Hermione, Harry decided, was not worth the trouble. But what confused him was that girls seemed to be avoiding him now, especially Ginny. Remus told him that what he was teaching him was foolproof. So what went wrong? Harry didn't spend dwelling on that, as he had homework to finish at the library. He couldn't concentrate, though. He looked up and saw a pair of ice-blue eyes staring back at him.

"I didn't know you fancied men, Potter," Malfoy told him.

"What?!" Harry blurted out. Malfoy raised his eyebrows.

"The walk, the hair, the makeup? If you tell me that you have seen a perfectly straight guy do this, then maybe I'll believe that you're straight too," Malfoy whispered. Harry's brain processed this.

"B-but Remus told me that-"

"Woah-woah? Remus Lupin, the werewolf? He's homosexual, you know! Potter, think about it. He turns away whenever that girl Tonks looks at him. He practically worshipped your godfather when they were at school, it's no big surprise."

"How do you know this?"

"My father went to school with them, remember? He used Lupin as an example of what I should never become."

"You mean gay, Malfoy?" Harry asked. Malfoy gaped at him. Was the Golden Boy really that dense? He asked again, "You're gay?"

"Isn't it obvious? I've been eyeing boys since fourth year!" Harry gaped at him, lips slightly parted. Malfoy smirked and took advantage of the moment. He kissed Harry on the lips, and then smiled. "More importantly, I've been eyeing you since fourth year."


End file.
